I recently went through my backup hard drive and I found a journal entry from 05 that I wanted to share:
“ The life I live is a life of constant battle. Born into a blood drenched battlefield where two armies are fighting for souls. The many who have no idea what is going on stand in the middle of this controlled chaotic field like targets on a range. Eyes shut and living in a world only fit for dreams. One side is simply allowing them to sleep knowing they are not a threat in their absent state while also waiting for the ones that seem to awaken ready to sing their melodic deceptive tune to sway them back to their sleep state. While the other side is quickly calling out to the hearts of the lost awakening them to an adventure that can not be delayed. In a sense it is a fight for the souls. The ending has been told from the ages but the enemy is trying to lull as many as he can before the book closes.
I am one of those have woken from the dormant curse. In my mind it took years for me to open my eyes, constantly hearing the call but fighting every urge to awake. There were a few times I opened my eyes but I foolish fell into the trap of that melodic tune the world plays over and over. But in 2001 I awoke to the call! I stand on this battlefield and I scan the horizon. So many people I have come to know are still in their gray state. The enemy in every corner with their watchful eye waiting to bring down any disruption to the rows of unaware pods. I stand with the army of the Lord despising the enemy. Looking into the dark crevices where their eyes should be. Sensing their anger, pride, jealousy, and diabolic way of contemplating. Beasts of Burden is what I have come to know them as. I stand fully armed now and running to fight! There are too many lives at stake to simply watch. Yes there are times were I have fallen, times where the call of the beast tugs so strongly to the desires of my flesh but I WILL NEVER ALLOW THEM TO BRING ME BACK TO A SLEEP DRIVEN STATE!! In the name of my Lord I get up and continue to fight!!!
I look around and I see many other soldiers joining the cause with me. But it seems we are all fighting this battle alone as unsung heroes. I see the mocking in the eyes of the beasts! We must regroup, and instead of fighting on instinct alone, listen to the wisdom of our king and see what we must do to form a true army to attack the enemy strategically!
Lord help me realize the battle I’m in when temptation comes. I continually fall asleep when temptation hits and I don’t do anything about it. Lord help me be aware so I may call out to your name and thats where I will draw strength from! Thank you God! Hear my cry!”